Bangkok Blues

Bangkok had been called the Sin City of Asia. It's also been named a food lover's paradise and an exceptional place to visit. Likewise, a lot of bloggers have commented on how amazing Bangkok is. They rave about the food, the people, the adventure. Recently, the Hangover II immortalized the city's notoriety with the catchphrase "Bangkok has him now". However, I've come to a different conclusion about Bangkok in the eight nights I spent there. 

I think it's an absolutely boring city - especially for Asia. That's right, I said it: Bangkok is boring. 

I arrived from Ao Nang and found a hotel room smack dab in the middle of Khao San Road for 120 baht a night ($4). Khao San Road, as I had mentioned, is like a giant overdeveloped 24/7 frat party. Its got its charms, but they wear out quickly. 

Sukhumvit - another 'entertainment' district - is similar to Khao San Road, except with prostitutes. Here you can see amazingly overweight 70-year old American, British, and Australian men with remorseless arms slung around their 16-year old Thai 'girlfriends'. Sitting at a bar, the 65-year old retired podiatrist from Oregon started a conversation with me. He was sitting with a young Thai girl who was maybe eighteen years old. He claimed she was the love of his life. "See," he told me, "she doesn't deny it!" I looked at him puzzled. She didn't deny his claim simply because she didn't know English. 

In the middle of our conversation, he inched his hands into her pants and started indiscriminately pressing against her butt. He did this causally in the middle of a bar while telling me about how many other Thai women he'd slept with. I almost became sick.

Since he retired to Bangkok five years ago, he said he'd slept with at least one new bar-girl every night. So, he put the number at around 4,000 different women. 

After about ten minutes, it became apparent that my unease and criticisms weren't direct enough, so I tried a new approach. I asked him if he had any children. Quickly, he pulled his hands out of the young girl's pants and used it to pull out a wallet. He showed me pictures of his two sons and his daughter. She just turned 28. 

I'm positive the old man didn't comprehend the irony behind my question, because after answering his hand went straight back into the young girl's pants. She looked embarrassed and annoyed but didn't resist. How that old man wasn't embarrassed I'll never know. It was clear, though, that even she understood the irony behind what I had asked the old man. Her eyes gave away her own discomfort with what I'd just done. She was thinking "His daughters are my age and they'll never have to do what I do..." After realizing I was only embarrassing her, I left. It's a really horrible world we live in sometimes.

These are two tourist spots, but not all of Bangkok is a red-light district, right? Well, I don't find the rest of Bangkok to be much better. It's very ugly, dirty and haphazardly developed. It feels more or less a big mud puddle with a few statues made of gold near the middle. And although Thai culture is fascinating, Bangkok also feels lacking in it's diversity. It has a certain homogeneity to it that Singapore, Kuala Lumpur, and even Ho Chi Minh don't have. After a few days, there isn't any reason to go to a particular district when it's no different than the one you're in.

When I asked expats what they do in Bangkok for fun, they told me there was some great bars and places to eat in some of the Western hotels. But, lamenting on their words, I asked if they thought it was a little grotesque to recommend activities in hotels for boredom in a city the size of Bangkok. They shrugged.  

What was I doing in Bangkok for eight days? Waiting for my Vietnam and Myanmar visas. So, as soon as I recieved this things, I headed up to Chiang Mai via Ayatthaya.

Backpacker Ghettos: Paharganj, Thamel, and Khao San Road

Backpacking has a very particular culture that draws inspiration from the tried-and-true methods of our hippie forefathers. Within the backpacking microcosm, there are certain areas of certain cities that are, in a very literal way, the Meccas of our culture. It's where ideas and stories are spread. Legends are born - and sometimes die - in these places. These are the backpacking Capitals - or, as many know them, backpacking ghettos. There's low price hotels, restaurants, and always bars. After only a minute of thinking, I came up with these just in South and Southeast Asia: Colaba in Mumbai, Old Town Leh in Ladakh, McLeod Ganj in Dharmsala, Old Town in Chiang Mai, Lakeside in Pokhara, and Viet Vang in Laos. 

Of course, Vietnam and Cambodia have there fair share, too. But in Asia there are three major ghettos every backpacker worth their salt has done time in. Love them or hate them, they're undisputed kings of our world; the New York, London, and Paris of the Asian backpacking culture. You've got Thamel (Freak Street) in Kathmandu, Parahganj in New Delhi, and Khao San Road in Thailand. There are others all over Asia, but these are the hubs.

Of the three, Khao San Road in Bangkok is by far the biggest population wise. It's also the most developed. There's even a a few Burger Kings, a McDonalds, some Starbucks, and a KFC. Although its original gritty charm has long given way to Western corporations, you can still find rooms here for 100 baht ($3) and good PadThai for 30 baht ($1). And every night there are thousands - tens of thousands - of young and often inexperienced backpackers that descend on this small prostitute-lined street to party until the wee-hours of the morning. It's like a giant frat-party all the time.

If you thought Bangkok was wild, you need to see its rambunctious brother Paharganj in Delhi. This place serves as as preparation for the absurdities of Varanasi and Mumbai. But there's a caveat; for all the luxury Khao San Road offers to the uninitiated backpacker, Parahganj in Delhi does him no favors. Where Kho San Road is a crowded road, it's also a very short road, so it stays clean. Paharganj, though, is a long and unpaved street near central Delhi's train station. It lacks the bars, parties, and the fraternity-like camaraderie found on Khao San Road. Instead, it offers a deeply Indian experience - it gives the in-your-face India to you. Now, a lot of people say Paharganj is nothing like India, but I beg the differ. It's bold, scammy, and absurd. But it's also remarkably calm in a weird sort of way. Paharganj also served as an initiation for the newbie backpacker fresh off the Southeast Asia trail. In that sense it's honest, and in some very real sense remote. It's not Western at all, and if you can't etch it here, backpacking the rest of the subcontinent will probably be fairly painful. 

Of the three big ghettos, Thamel in Kathmandu is my least favorite. I might be biased against it because I've lived extended amounts of time in this area before. Plus there was a revolution going on when I lived there. But I find Thamel to be a softer version of Parahganj. There's still the hustle-bustle all around, but it's been toned down a bit. You'll still be approached by strangers for hashish - or opium - but unlike Delhi the touts aren't so persistent. Most of the people in Thamel are trekkers, so the place is lined with shops selling trinkets from the hills, trekking gear, and oxygen tanks for climbers. It's also pretty dirty - worse, dare I say, than Pajarganj. But, Thamel to me seems far more crime ridden than either of it's peers. Khao San Road and Parahganj both allow for some nightlife and safety at night. Generally, if you're quiet and keep to yourself there is sufficient help 24/7. And the people on these streets, while poor, aren't typically desperate. Thamel, in stark contrast to the other two, shuts down at around eleven. The streets are empty. Criminals are rampant. In Thamel I've been robbed twice while sleeping. My girlfriend and I had also been gassed with a clothe and robbed while in our hotel. The hotel managers were honest and helpful - the police were not. Although we didn't loose any money, a Chinese passport was stolen (hers) and it made for a huge headache returning to Tibet without it. 

But this isn't to say that Thamel isn't a fascinating place. It is! The Tibetan food here is wonderful, perhaps the best outside of Leh or Lhasa, and it's a great place to start exploring Bhaktapur and Kathmandu. It's a short walk to Ratna bus park where a bus virtually anywhere in the valley - Pashpatinath and Boudha included - will cost you only $0.25 to $0.60. I'd also recommend buying down here as it's generally fairly high-quality and very very cheap.

Regardless, these three places are truely fascinating places to stay in. If you're backpacking, spend at least a night in one! It's worth it.